i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
