It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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