Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
