I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
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