This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
