Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I need a beard to bite.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
