He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
