he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
