Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
