Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
