she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
You left your underwear on the fireplace
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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