what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
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