You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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