I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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