so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
handjob tips. give me some.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
