I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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