Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
