yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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