nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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