guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
only you would photoshop your dick
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
