I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Randomize