before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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