Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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