My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
