don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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