If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
