i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
