U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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