i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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