Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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