she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
