i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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