I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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