Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
