I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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