i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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