hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
