ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
He shit in the fireplace
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
