I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
