your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
