I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
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