he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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