Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
