Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
