I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
