pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
We had sex on a dog bed..
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
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