He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
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