i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
