i permit you to call me
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
