I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
