Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
