trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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