bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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