sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
