im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
