Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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