your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
