I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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